Funny Valentine by allie taylor
We were just about to turn in for the night, and I was vainly attempting to read aloud from the confiscated valentine pile. They just tickled my funny bone, maybe it was the late hour. It’s that time in February…. when LOVE is in the air.
As you can imagine, I have many roles as the mother of four boys. I’m chef, chauffeur, chief toilet scrubber. But each February an additional responsibility is added to my plate, another hat to wear, a role I affectionately term “Valentine Gatekeeper”. It’s a self-imposed role, just the right thing to do.
So what, pray tell, are the responsibilities of a “Valentine Gatekeeper”? (So glad you asked.) Basically, I protect the sensitive heart of your child. From my child. Each year the boys and I sit together at the kitchen counter working on school valentines, spreading the love. I have one particularly creative, expressive child who writes exactly what he’s thinking. Word for word. This can be sweet. Or not.
So here beside me now, is a small pile of these confiscated valentines I’ve collected through the years….valentines your child might have received had I not taken my gatekeeper role seriously. I thought some of the sentiments might tickle your funny bone too…
Dear Taylor, I love you very much still, when you are not nice to me! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Dear Aubrey, Have you ever gone on a boat ride and gotten seasick? Happy Valentine’s Day!
Dear Kagney, Like going for rides in hot air balloons? But warning: you could get lost! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Dear Nicole, Do you like flying kites? Usually you’re not in danger of flying away! Happy Valentine’s Day!
And my personal favorite…..
I love you. But you don’t play with me. Why is that? But I still love youooooo. Happy Valentine’s Day!
My Funny Valentine by Frank Sinatra
Happy Valentine’s Day friends!